How to Ask for What You Want Without Apology✨

We’ve all been there. You know you need to ask for something important — a raise, more support, time off, clarity in a relationship — but the thought of speaking up ties your stomach in knots.

Let’s be real: it’s not always easy. Especially when authority figures or strained relationships are involved. But sis, you are worth the ask.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you prepare and practice asking for what you want — clearly, confidently, and gracefully.

1. Be Direct

Clarity is kindness — to you and to them. Decide what you want and get clear on how you’ll say it.

Example:

"I’d like to talk about a salary increase. I’ve been here three years and have made major contributions, including [X, Y, and Z]. When might I expect a raise?"

When you speak with clarity and conviction, you take up your rightful space.

2. Be Prepared

Do your homework. Learn the policies, look at the data, and build a compelling case. Even if others aren’t getting raises, explain why your impact justifies one.

“I know things have been tight financially. However, I generate enough in monthly revenue to cover the cost of my increase.”

The more prepared you are, the less permission you feel like you need.

3. Be Quiet

Once you speak your piece — pause. Let it land. Don’t fill the silence with doubt or disclaimers. Just breathe and hold the moment. It’s a powerful act of self-respect.

4. Invite Questions

Open the door for dialogue. Say something like:

“Do you have any questions or concerns about my performance?”

This signals that you’re confident and collaborative — not confrontational.

5. Be Persistent

If the answer is unclear or delayed, don’t just let it drop. Before ending the conversation, ask:

“When might I expect an answer?”

Following up is not pushy — it’s intentional.

6. Follow Up

If a few days pass without a response, follow up respectfully:

“I expected a response by now. Do you have an update?”

Let your presence be a gentle but firm reminder.

Final Thought:

Asking for what you want is a sacred act of self-honoring. It’s how we teach others to value us — by showing that we value ourselves.

So the next time you feel that hesitation rise up in your chest, remind yourself:💬 “My voice matters. My needs matter. And I am worthy of asking.”

Have you ever struggled to ask for what you need? Share your story in the comments below — you never know who you might inspire. 💜